Posted in PERSONAL

A friend. A confidant. A Companion for life. 

happy-valentines-day

What is the most difficult thing to pursue in this world ? Being Yourself !

What is the easiest way to achieve it ? Land up with the right person 🙂

See a face you love each day and you’ll never run out of smiles. Talk to a bud in a partner and you’ll never wan to turn away from home. Hold hands of a champ and you’ll feel like a winner for the rest of your life.

Love, they say is unconditional. Holds true.

The universe has it planned for everyone. All you have to do is understand and catch the vibe. If being single is what makes you happy, wait for the time when you find yourself in a relationship where the happiness doubles. It takes two to make a team. It takes united two to make a damn good one.

Be the best version of yourself every single day by being with the kind of person who respects you, accepts you and loves you for who you are. A friend. A confidant. A Companion for life. That is the secret to happiness.

In the last three decades of my existence on this planet, I’ve come across a pile of definitions of love and soulmates. But here’s what touched my heart –

” …A Soulmate is someone who will make you be the most you that you can possibly be.”

I found my guy 🙂

Dedicated to you Ashie 🙂

 

Posted in PERSONAL

It Seems We’re So Invincible But The Truth is So Cold !!

Die-Live-Forever

A new year , a new beginning with new hopes and new horizons to override. The pace at which life is progressing is swift and amidst everything the cycle of life continues – birth-growth-life-death.

As i was beginning to feel grateful for a lovely 2015, a loved one passed away at the eve of new year – December 31st, 2015 and the night between the eve and the next year seemed a really long one. They say – “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” Holds true.

I’ve seen a lot of loved ones go away to places which are unknown. Places that we mortals can only keep alive in our imagination. It’s strange how one moment somebody is a part of our life and the next moment is not to be found anywhere. You can keep searching the limits of the Earth and you still won’t find the person.

In the words of the protagonist from Life of Pi, “I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.” Letting go is what we ‘strong’ folks do but that feeling of wishing somebody adieu remains inside. The feeling of spending more time until we bid the final goodbye remains.

Our life doesn’t halt. We continue on our journey of self growth and we progress. We still have our moments of joy and we still laugh. We occasionally get triggered by feelings from the past and we share a smile and shed a tear at the same time. We let go of the moment and embrace the present but what is left behind is a void. The void persists. Everyone has their own special place and it cannot be substituted by anyone else. Never ever ever.

I was grateful at the end of 2015 and i still am even after losing so many people year after year because i am blessed with family & friends who are beyond words. I say this from all my heart.I read in a book once – “We all die. The goal isn’t to love forever. The goal is to CREATE something that will.” We as a family have created a legacy that will keep us united until death does us apart. I say this with all my pride and with all the love in my heart.

There are people who are remembered for all the acts they did that left a permanent imprint on people and there are others who get forgotten. If you’re remembered and respected by people even after you leave this world, i guess you’ve spent your time well in this world . Nothing lasts forever. That is for sure but memories remain .

In the words of Lord Alfred Tennyson from In Memoriam –

In words, like weeds, I’ll wrap me o’er,
Like coarsest clothes against the cold:
But that large grief which these enfold
Is given in outline and no more.

He is not here; but far away
The noise of life begins again,
And ghastly thro’ the drizzling rain
On the bald street breaks the blank day.

O living will that shalt endure
When all that seems shall suffer shock,
Rise in the spiritual rock,
Flow thro’ our deeds and make them pure.

This post is dedicated to every individual who understands the sense of loss and who knows that in the end all that matters during our stay here on Earth is the time well spent with loved ones and the legacy that we leave behind for mankind to cherish. Everything else is irrelevant.

Photo Credits:

(http://www.iquootes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/Die-Live-Forever.jpg)

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in PERSONAL

A Year of Reflections – From Nihilism to Optimism :)

As i sit down to write this post, i have a smile on my face, love in my heart and peace in my mind. Last year exactly this time, there was a deep sense of anguish and negativity around. There was stagnation and torpor. There was the feeling of falling down in a deep abyss where one gets lost. Took me a while to figure out what went wrong where ? Took me a while to find myself. But when i did , i did it with a boom. Now after an year i’m back in the game – More powerful, more strong, more determined , more ambitious and more successful.

The greatest lesson learnt in the previous year and something that will stay with me for my life is – Never ever give your precious access to negative people. For if they do, they destroy your essential self. They destroy you. A few months ago , i had a sense of vengeance for some people who were selfish and ungrateful. I thought of them as obstacles – obstacles in the path of my personal growth. I thought of them as ‘energy vampires’ who were trying to take away my chi (positive energy) and break into my ‘aura’. A year later, i have no sense of revenge or hate or even the remotest ill feeling for those people. I exonerated them. I purged them. I forgave them. I ‘let it go.’

Forgiveness is indeed a virtue. It helps to move on. It really does. The moment you let go of people or situations , your journey to self growth begins. A journey of transformation. A journey of optimism. A journey of happiness. In that journey , you discover yourself as a human being. You literally re-invent yourself. You don’t even remember what ills people caused you because you’re busy finding your inner ‘self’. The ‘self’ that got lost. When you find it, there is just no looking back. Life becomes cheerful. Flowers become bright again. The sky is blue. The trees are green. Music is sweet. Food is delectable. Life is beautiful and ‘you’ become ‘you’ 🙂

For each of you out there who have been hurt by people or situations, hang in there. It’ll definitely get better. The people who hurt you may or may not revive eventually but you will. I can vouch for it. I am dedicating this post to every single individual who hit rock bottom and bounced back sky high. You’re the kind of people the world looks up to. You’re winners. Cheers to that 🙂

Lastly, i want to thank some outstanding people who met me along the way and helped me discover myself. I owe them the deepest sense of gratitude for believing in me and helping me reach where i am today. You people taught me that, “Akriti Mattu can make a come back on her own.”  I totally did .

THANK you  Divya Sarjolta for being there every damn time and never ever giving up on me.(Don’t think i need to say more, i just dedicated an entire post to you recently :D) THANK you Ashish Rajta for making me your own in every single way and for respecting me for who i am; You and i have to travel an entire journey together 🙂 THANK you Ashish Ranjan for all the time and the inspirational talks and for making me realize that the vision for the future is damn important ;the present moment shall pass. You didn’t let be weak for even a day 🙂  Finally , THANK you Prateek Purohit for investing so much time on all the fun chats ( i really really needed them) and keeping that faith alive in me 🙂

I owe you all my happiness and my success. I owe you my transformation from nihilism to optimism, from negativity to positivity, finally from India to United States.

Much love

-Akriti

P.S: Shared the following quote on exactly this date last year. Came out to be true 🙂

eatpraylove

Posted in SOCIETY

Cut the Crap and Stop Shaming Women during – ‘ That Time of the Month ‘ !!!

MENS

I am a woman. I am proud of my essential being. I am proud of the fact that i can create, bear and bring a new life to this world. Even the society around me is proud of me for being able to generate life. However there’s one thing which is ironical here – The world celebrates a woman for fertility , for life but shames her for the very phenomena that is responsible for her fertility in the first place. Yes, the world shames her for ‘menstruation.’ It’s the year 2015. The world is rapidly progressing and that too scientifically. Yet even in the year 2015 , a lot of women across countries, cultures, and religions are stigmatized when ‘that time of the month arrives.’ Sad part is that most people (women included) don’t even have a rational explanation for this regressive approach towards menstruating women. They do it because they have been following their ancestors or maybe because they are too unaware to question and find the answers. When i talk about people here, i do not mean some kind of tribal folks or people from rural backgrounds. Not at all. The urban folks are very much included. Folks that are literate( I’m not deliberately using the word education here because literacy and education are two very different things).

A woman is made to feel like some kind of an inferior ‘creature’ when she is on her period. In fact a lot of times women don’t even speak about it. They hush it up as if it’s some kind of a sinful act.  I’ve come across some bizarre practices followed by people .Not just bizarre but obnoxious and some times just foolish. Let me give you some examples : In a lot of households , a menstruating woman is NOT allowed to enter the kitchen, NOT allowed to eat pickles, NOT even allowed to bake cakes, NOT allowed to go to a temple for worship ( in case of Hinduism), NOT allowed to sleep on the same bed as her husband, definitely NOT allowed intimacy, is given a separate section of the house to reside , in some extreme cases. Not just Hinduism , every religion in the world puts restrictions on menstruating women (except Sikhism). In Islam, menstruating women are not allowed to touch the Quran, enter the mosque, offer the ritual prayer or be intimate with her husband for seven full days. The woman is also exempted from rituals such as daily prayers and fasting. The Jewish ‘Code of Law’ – The Halakha prohibits any physical contact between a man and a woman during menstruation.Likewise, in Christianity too (especially Catholic Christians) a menstruating woman is considered ‘unclean’ and ‘impure.’ So she’s not allowed to touch the Bible, attend Church Services or even touch raw food. Surprisingly, even a religion like Buddhism does not allow women to circumambulate around the Stupas during menstruation.

Madras visit. 1734

The picture right above is that of a board in front of the main entrance of a reputed temple in Chennai. The priest of the temple has not even spelled the word ‘sanctity’ correctly and yet wants women out of the temple during ,”that time of the month.” Anyway, the retrograde rituals restricting a menstruating woman from eating, worshiping, moving to certain places and being intimate with her partner are practically the same across religions. I can quote the exact lines from the scriptures of the religions, I’ve mentioned above but it’ll take a lot of important space here. So being a Hindu by birth, i’d just like to explain the MYTH because of which people still want to remain irrational:

“Viswaroopa the son of Thwashta was recruited as the ‘guru’(priest) fore the gods in place of Bruhaspathi, when Bruhaspathi was hidden himself because of the insult made by the Indra. Viswaroopa was killed by Indra in a cheating war, then the Indra was attacked by the Brahma-hathya Dosha’. So now indra was suffering from the ‘brahma-hathya Dosha’. After some time he asks Bruhaspathi for solution, then Bruhaspathi said ‘if there is any body to share that, then you’ll be relieved and you should give some boons to the person’ The following shared the Brahma-hathya Dosha of indra in the following manner.
1. Earth (prithvy)
2. Trees (vriksha)
3. Sea (samudra)
4. Ladies (sthree)
Earth shared the sin and releases the sin in the form of “fuller’s earth (choudu mritthika)” and got the boon that the earth will be filled or become closed even after the excavations. Trees shared the sin and releases the sin in the form of ‘gum’ and got the boon that they can grow even they cut. Sea shared the sin and released the sin in the form of ‘foam/froth’ and got the boon the at the sea cannot cross the sea shore (generally, not in some cases). Ladies shared the sin and releases the sin in the form of ‘menstruation’ every month and got the boon that they can give birth to children from menstruation.” 

.. And this is the reason why people want to remain irrational ?? Like really ? Personally i find it extremely offensive to impose stigmatization on a woman during her period just because some people still want to follow a myth that is like a million years old. Menstruation is a NORMAL BIOLOGICAL phenomena due to which a woman’s Endometrium (The inner lining of the uterus) sheds every month along with the tearing of connective blood vessels through the female genitalia , which we call a period. Hence, getting a period is an innate part of being a woman. So why all the fuss , all the restrictions and the superstitions? It is because of menstruation that women can conceive a new life when they want to. It is because of menstruation that the human race will not go extinct. Yet , some people whom i call, ‘unevolved’ try to prove their prowess by restricting and imposing women. Annoying. More annoying than these unevolved morons are the women themselves who willingly want to be a part of this irrationality and have no hesitation in passing their dogmatic beliefs to the next generation.

The female body should not be ostracized for fertility. The procreative capacity of women is not to be seen as impure. It’s obnoxious to even think otherwise. When a young girl gets her first period, don’t make her feel inferior. Instead congratulate her for her beautifully transforming into a woman. Take care of her and more than anything else, make her aware of her body ( and i’m including both the parents here). I am stunned at the moral and religious hypocrisy of people. A man who might have just raped somebody, a man who might have consumed alcohol, a man who might have committed adultery, a pervert, a wife beater, a murderer, etc etc. everybody is allowed inside places of worship at all times EXCEPT a woman who is undergoing a BIOLOGICAL process every month that makes her  CAPABLE OF GENERATING LIFE when she wants to. So who should be shamed ? A menstruating woman or the people who want to stigmatize her ? Think about it and try not being a part of the latter. Be more aware and create that awareness around you . Start from your own homes and stand up for the women in your lives if they are subjected to this mistreatment. But most of all, women themselves need to celebrate themselves. All the women who shout out aloud for  being empowered, for starters STOP BEING EMBARRASSED for your body, which by the way is the only thing capable in this world of generating life. Womanhood is to be celebrated. !!

P.S : I feel so happy today that i was never subjected to any of the above mentioned rituals ever. i owe my parents a big THANK YOU since i live in a society that stigmatizes a woman for just being a woman.

Stop-Sacrificing-A-Girl’s-self-esteem-at-the-altar-of-menstrual-Myths-e1410506036511

Photo Credits:

(http://www.fuccha.in/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/MENS.jpg

,http://www1.sulekha.com/mstore/airforcebala/albums/default/Madras%20visit.%201734.jpg

,http://menstrupedia.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Stop-Sacrificing-A-Girl%E2%80%99s-self-esteem-at-the-altar-of-menstrual-Myths.jpg)

Posted in PERSONAL

Feel the Joy Within

joy of being happy
credits: http://bit.ly/29JMmPa

If you can sip hot cappuccino , read a Dan Brown novel and plug in ear phones post midnight with a smile on your face , it means you are happy. If you can move about randomly in the street , all by yourself with a song on your lips and ecstasy in your heart , you truly are feeling the joy in your life. It’s precious. So precious !! With that subtle composure in your life, you can so easily let go of things that once triggered you and made you upset. You don’t even care anymore about things that drain your energy. The journey from “What the hell?” to “I don’t give a shit!” is the hardest, I guess. But this journey is worth it 🙂

Life is not that difficult so why purposely sign up for a life full of struggle when you can sail through it really smoothly. Work hard, achieve your aspirations, follow your dreams but don’t complicate your life just because you are too scared to pursue the one thing you were meant to do on this planet – ‘Be You’ !!! Every single moment , just be ‘you’ – One hundred percent. Life will turn out to be beautiful 🙂

Suggested Readings

The Alchemist 

  amazon

amazon

Posted in PERSONAL

Life is Fleeting – Count your Blessings and Stay Grateful !!

gold-pocket-watch-hourglass-17703034

The most uncanny aspect of life is that one can never be sure what follows next. It’s a full circle one goes through. Ups and downs, joys and sorrows , success and failure , life and death – All of it makes us stand and wonder that here each one is to their own. Every phase, every experience, every moment adds a new perspective to the way we view ourselves. We are all just an insignificant spec when we compare ourselves to the gigantic microcosm. Therefore one should not be petty or arrogant about their essential being. Life is to be embraced with open arms. Happiness is meant to be shared. Misery is to be made a teaching moment for endurance.

Love the people around. Don’t discriminate. Keep your humanity alive because life is fleeting at a pace so fast that things can change at the blink of an eye. Remain grateful because you owe a lot of people a lot when it comes to shaping you as an individual that you are. You just never know what you encounter next. So be thankful to the people who made you who you are. People will not stay around forever because eventually all of us will leave this place. But until then, live in harmony and radiate out positivity as much as you can. Spread your vibrance out there in the universe.

P.S I am dedicating this post to all those people whose loved ones mean the world to them. Nothing lasts forever, they say. Only memories remain. So create moments you can cherish for a lifetime 🙂

Photo Credits:

(http://stockfresh.com/thumbs/flynt/1080193_arany-zseb-%C3%B3ra-homok%C3%B3ra-%C3%BCveg-homok.jpg)

Posted in PERSONAL

” Stop Killing Yourself For Us “

One of those days when you’re worn out and tired of people misunderstanding you.When you’re tired and hurt of people telling you to be more patient even though you’re the one who’s been waiting all along. You’ve been waiting all this while to be your normal self. You’ve been waiting for you to have your lost appetite to be good again. You’ve been waiting for you to contribute around, in the ways you used to. You’ve been waiting for coming out of your rut. You’ve been waiting for all the moments worth cherishing, worth sharing and worth creating. You’ve just been waiting. But you finally realize that your waiting for all that you’ve been missing wasn’t worth it and so you decide to take the high road. You decide to let go of all the bitterness, of all the bottled up feelings, and all the things you’ve wanted so badly to be expressed that you want to scream.

You look at your life in hindsight and you realize that you’ve always nailed it. You’ve always fought situations with all your might and you’ve never ever given up. You realize that you were always your own hero. People got inspired for who you were. People kept you on a pedestal and you made sure you never let them down. In fact you made them extraordinary with you because a good leader doesn’t ever create more followers; a true leader creates more leaders. You cared enough to make them feel that they always have your back. You loved them enough to make sure that what they’ve invested in you – their faith, always is worthy of putting in you in the first place. More than anything else, you always took willingly that extra step to hold them just because they don’t ever fall. Yet, today you find yourself alone. Alone, standing at the edge wondering what drove you so far.

You keep on thinking and thinking and you finally sink it in. You sink it all in. You know now that the only person who drove you so far is ‘you.’ The only reason you came so far is ‘you.’ You realize that all the while when you kept waiting for the world to understand you in your crisis, the world was just waiting for you to get up on your own and rise up. All the time when you were waiting for the world to pat your back for your efforts, and appreciate you for all that you did, the world was waiting to get back to you for not doing enough. All the time when you were hoping that the world around will hold you tight and do for you exactly what you did, the world was cursing you for not being able to deal with your adversity yourself. In fact blaming you for running away each time. What the world didn’t realize was that you didn’t run from situations or from people. You never were a coward. Had you been one, you would have never taken that extra step to let people in your life at their worse and give them your best. You ran because you knew you were suffocated. You ran because you wanted to restore your normal self and make even more space in your life for the people who matter. But they never got it.

Gratitude is such a rare human quality. Isn’t it? No matter how much you make way for people, they’ll always want you to make more way for them..And the moment you need them to the do the same for you, they blame you for being ‘weak’. Blame you for expecting too much out of them. Irony is, you considered them much better, they themselves didn’t. You feel like screaming out so loud that your voice reaches out there. You want to yell, fight, argue, just burst out and vent everything out and you do. You keep doing it in expectation of people understanding the basic sentiment behind your melt down. But that doesn’t really happen since somehow the entire blame for your meltdown is also on you…And that’s when you decide to let go. Let go off the bitterness, let go of the anger, let go of all that you were expecting will help you ‘heal’ . You just shut down completely. You embrace silence. You don’t want to express anything anymore since when you tried to reach out , you were just not understood. Somewhere you hope that when you get back to your normal self, things will get better. Time heals a lot. But somehow if that doesn’t happen, and the world doesn’t stop to ponder over even once so as to why you had that meltdown, then i guess, you know it just wasn’t worth it. You learn a life lesson that you always had your heart in the right place, they didn’t.

But you take the high road and you forgive because no matter how hard you try to turn into a b***h, you can’t. That’s you. No matter how hard you try to despise everything and everyone, you’ll still be there for them. Always. That is why they are ‘they’ and you are ‘you’. Only difference will be that this time you won’t lose your ‘self’ because you know you worth. You know the fact that whatever people are thinking or not thinking like they should have; it is you to whom they turned every time because they knew you will take them.  You realize that the entire crisis you have been facing has been the biggest life lesson for you. It has taught you to love yourself even more. It has taught you that gratitude is rare and you’re happy that you possess it. It has taught you that you were never supposed to think that things are wrong with you because you didn’t create the situations. It taught you to  listen to your own voice – your innermost voice and hear it so loud and clear that all the voices outside are rendered silent.

You didn’t ever get needy. You didn’t ever turn insensitive. More than anything else, you didn’t ever turn your back on people who matter. You acted like a sponge happily since you cared enough. You still do.You might have been blunt but never unfair. You might have made yourself distant but never abandoned people. You might have lost your temper but never your humanity.

Today a friend of mine told me, “Stop killing yourself  for us.” Guess that is what the gist of all of this is.

Image

Photo Credits :

(http://www.quotesonimages.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Sad-Lonely-Depressing-Heartbroken-Quotes-160.jpg)