I Get High on Intelligent Conversations

intelligence

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There is something really inspiring about intellectual conversations. They take you to a different level altogether. You feel liberated and evolved after having them.

To have friends around, whom you can look up to is one of the most amazing things that can happen to a person. Today i had a conversation with a really good friend who described it metaphorically. He termed it as an ‘exothermic reaction’ – A reaction which releases energy . In our case the energy is positivity.

People like me often feel disconnected from others. It’s one of the quirks of being different. Now this doesn’t happen because we look down upon people. It happens because the mental acumen and the attitude towards life that people like me have is a lot more different from others. But when you have people (even if they’re few) in your life who can patiently make you listen to them (since they make so much sense) you just feel good .They are the kind of people who can provide you the exact solutions for specific situations with rationality and logic. It is said that, ” if you’re the most intelligent person in the room , you’re in the wrong room.” It holds true.

No matter how intellectual and evolved you are, no matter how successful who you are , no matter how inspiring you are – there should ALWAYS be people in your life you can look up to. People who inspire and guide you. Sometimes you just want to be understood without saying a lot. Sometimes you just want people to mentor you. Sometimes you just want to feel the magic that usually you create, coming  from a different source. It feels enfranchising. It feels emancipating.

Today was one such day 🙂

P.S: I dedicate this post to a dear friend whose words elate me.

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42 thoughts on “I Get High on Intelligent Conversations

  1. Amen to this post! As annoying as some people can be, it is also good to surround yourself with people you don’t necessarily agree with. So if you are the smartest person in the room and everyone agrees with you, sneak out the back door and find a better room 😉

    Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, I do want but not necessarily everything though. Sometimes people/things/incidences that makes no sense to us makes lots of sense to others and that, that does not make any sense now may make sense later. I think I’m talking non-sense now. 😛

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      • Actually you are. No offence though.

        There are certain things that are universal. If ‘some’ people feel otherwise, ok ..they can but it’s not ok to spout it on others. I mean if a fundamentalist tells me that his actions are justified, i will never agree to that. That’s all.

        Things have always got to make sense. If they don’t seek answers and the company of ‘evolved’ people around !

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  2. I am sure Akriti, there are few ground rule for intelligent conversation. Everybody loves a great conversation. It is one of life’s simple pleasures. Sharing ideas and perspectives is a great way feel alive and connected.

    Here is how to prepare for an Intelligent Conversation:

    (1) Accept the other person WILL disagree with you.
    (2) No name calling or personal attacks. Ever!
    (3) Always be polite.
    (4) Try and understand from their point of view.
    (5) Be willing to check your facts, and admit when you need more information or need to do more research.
    “I don’t know” or “I don’t know enough” is not a bad thing.

    Nobody knows everything, and there will be times people know things that you don’t. Stubbornly sticking to incorrect facts and information defeats the purpose of having an Intelligent Conversation.

    Having an open mind has got to be one of the hardest things to do. But it can be one of the most rewarding.

    This is really hard to do with topics like politics and religion. There may even be topics that have to be off limits, and cannot be discussed.

    (6) Separate the emotional from the factual.

    There are times you’ll feel a certain way about something just because. That’s OK. Everyone has things they believe that are not rooted in any fact.

    There are things you associate very powerful positive or negative feelings with that hugely influence how you feel. Even if the facts contradict how you feel.

    Accept your feelings, and accept other people’s feelings. This where you have to exercise self control, as feelings are not likely to change.

    (7) Be humble in victory and gracious in defeat.

    Nobody likes a gloating winner and nobody likes a bitter loser.

    If you do persuade others to see things your way, be kind and tread lightly, or you may change their mind back. So no bragging or boasting about how smart you are or how right you are.

    If you have changed your mind and now agree with someone else’s point of view, be grateful to have learned something new. It is not a contest to be won or lost.

    Thank you for reading my thoughts on having an Intelligent Conversation

    Liked by 4 people

    • That’s an insightful comment. Thank u for posting it. Here’s what i think about each of those points –

      (1) Accept the other person WILL disagree with you.

      Sure. Disagreement is never an issue. However, disagreements based on prejudices and stereotypes are.

      (2) No name calling or personal attacks. Ever!

      Agreed.

      (3) Always be polite.

      Yep that’s the whole point of talking to an intellectual person.

      (4) Try and understand from their point of view.

      Absolutely. It comes really easy with evolved people. With people having a narrow outlook , you gotta ignore. Stooping to a moron’s level will make you a moron.

      (5) Be willing to check your facts, and admit when you need more information or need to do more research.
      “I don’t know” or “I don’t know enough” is not a bad thing.Nobody knows everything, and there will be times people know things that you don’t. Stubbornly sticking to incorrect facts and information defeats the purpose of having an Intelligent Conversation.
      Having an open mind has got to be one of the hardest things to do. But it can be one of the most rewarding.
      This is really hard to do with topics like politics and religion. There may even be topics that have to be off limits, and cannot be discussed.

      Yes with people who inspire you , this happens naturally. Open minded people are very few but those are the people , i personally connect with. I admire such people. Politics and religion are topics that ‘evolved’ people won’t even bother to invest their time on coz’ they realize they are personal things. Every individual has the right to hold their views on both religion as well as politics . That needs to be respected. However the problem commences when people who are too touchy about these topics begin to impose their views on others. It is because of impositions that the world today is fighting terrorist organisations like ISIS and Al Qaeda. Therefore, narrow minded and dogmatic people are not my favourite people. Open minded people are.

      (6) Separate the emotional from the factual.There are times you’ll feel a certain way about something just because. That’s OK. Everyone has things they believe that are not rooted in any fact.
      There are things you associate very powerful positive or negative feelings with that hugely influence how you feel. Even if the facts contradict how you feel.
      Accept your feelings, and accept other people’s feelings. This where you have to exercise self control, as feelings are not likely to change.

      Yep. If only more people understood this. Funny thing is that stupid people don’t consider themselves stupid. Agreed feelings don’t change and that is why maintaining distance from ‘stuck up’ people is a must. Being polite to everybody is ok but that’s all. No further involvement required.

      (7) Be humble in victory and gracious in defeat.
      Nobody likes a gloating winner and nobody likes a bitter loser. If you do persuade others to see things your way, be kind and tread lightly, or you may change their mind back. So no bragging or boasting about how smart you are or how right you are. If you have changed your mind and now agree with someone else’s point of view, be grateful to have learned something new. It is not a contest to be won or lost.

      Agreed. Every victory/defeat is personal. I have also believed in the philosophy of ‘Each one to himself.”
      Boasting is not cool. However agreeing to a person who is out rightly wrong isn’t cool too. In fact it shows you’re weak as a person and don’t have the guts to take a stand even when you’re right. Had more people been able to take a stand and not just be mere bystanders, the world would have been a better place. Lastly, every contest should be with oneself. You’re own performance ought to be compared with your own self. I draw my inspiration from people around the world who chose to take a stand and contributed immensely to the world. Those people are my heroes. There’s one common thing among all those people – They never conformed. That is why the led the crowd when the entire world was busy being a part of the crowd.

      THANKS for your time Mihran. Always good to reply to your comments 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have been a victim to this being unique stuff and being in the so called wrong room in my younger years at school. As a kid you always think that showing off your intelligence and a simple fact that you know all the correct answers would get a lot of attention from the class and a little favoratism from your teachers. I did get both the favoratism from my teachers and the attention from the class as a nerd. Of course least to mention I also use to wear soda glasses which again added up to that look of being a perfect nerd. Lol. Was left out alone for years. Then came along two more nerds who may be were not intelligent enough for the world but for me were the perfect definition of best friends. So the intelligence and bonding lead us to ask more questions and gain more knowledge it all started from some explosive experiments in the chemistry lab to some award winning performances of stage to some warm hearted friendship that we awarded each other with for years to come I can hardly remember now when or what day we became friends but yes it’s been 19 years that we have this bond among us. Point being that every one needs someone and someone needs everyone. I had learnt at school I guess in Civics that Man is a social animal. Amazing post Akriti as usual you mesmerize me with your words. I respect that intoxicating art of words you have in that amazing brain of yours. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Having such an intelligent communication is nothing hut exo-stressic, releasing stress accumulated , for all other reasons. Agree with you over this. Such conversations are rare, and despite not involving any alcohol or addictive substances, they make clock tickle away as fast. Food for brain, such conversations are.
    My brain lusts such conversations more than my taste lusts chocolates, this is as good as it gets. Keep writing Mattu !!

    Like

  5. Absolutely. One of the best dinners I ever had was one where two health professionals, two lawyers and two college-educated friends argued whether English should be declared the official language of the US. I still remember it.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Meaningful conversation hell yes !! I have had some of those with you and reading this article has been a pleasure yet again
    Keep writing !!
    All the best

    Like

  7. I relate to this post so much! My mom usually complains that I look bored talking to most people (You know how moms catch every emotion on your face!).
    This post explains why! It’s all about the wavelength and how much you can connect with another person intellectually. Makes sense!
    Love your articles. I am following you!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I agree with your words.. 🙂
    Even when we bow infront of our elders for blessings then also we receive good energy from them.. Meeting new inspirational people really excites us and motivates us to move forward in life…. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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